I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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