i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
