We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
