I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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