Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
