I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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