Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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