He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize