That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
