i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
