I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
