that's an acceptable place to lick
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
