and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
