I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
