just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just invented taco cereal.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
