ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
