you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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