Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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