As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
