God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize