Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
