I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
