you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize