You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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