Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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