Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
