Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
