giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
