U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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