sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
