I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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