This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize