READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
