you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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