I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
