How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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