The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
