I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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