The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
