sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
