the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
