OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
