My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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