I want to make a zoo with you.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
