She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The uberlube is also flammable
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
