Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
