guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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