I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
