im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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