are you still at the devil's house?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
