Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
pray to the hookup gods
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
