My friends, they love my intelligence
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
pray to the hookup gods
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
