I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
