I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
