I will die if light touches me.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
