Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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