so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
