No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize