the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
