While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
