I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize