While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
