I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
