Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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