Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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