Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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