College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
