He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We had to coat check the pizza.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
