my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
These tits shall not be calmed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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