Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize