I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
