Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
