Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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