just come out here and I will go home with you...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
