they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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