Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize