How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
