so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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