Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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