If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
