By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Actions speak louder than pants.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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