Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
