You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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