and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
