I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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